3rd October 2011 , Posted by Dannie
Just the Two of Us
The first two weeks of Colette’s entrance into our lives were, to say the least, traumatic.
The first night we brought her home, she was bawling her lungs out pretty much the entire night. We fed her, carried her, cuddled her, cleaned her, swaddled her and prayed that she would go to sleep. But no…. she just started bawling again, and the whole cycle would start again. The nurses at KKH did tell us that each feed would only be around 15-30 minutes. But little Colette just seemed to be insatiable. In the end, no amount of cuddling, swaddling or cooing helped. Just pop a damned nipple into her mouth and she would shut up. Unfortunately, this meant that the wife stayed up pretty much the entire night, trying to nurse Colette to sleep.
What could the husband and father do? Nothing, because he’s not built for breastfeeding. I slept as best I could, hoping that come morning, I could help look after the baby and allow the wife some rest.
The next day, we went back to the hospital for jaundice checks. Tested positive. While it was technically still within the “safe zone”, it was close enough to the danger zone for the doctor to recommend that we admit Colette immediately for phototherapy treatment. We obviously followed her advice, but were a little concerned about the cost of a Class A ward that would allow us to sleep in too. Fortunately, we also managed to find some hostel-like accommodation at KKH (thank you, Ronald McDonald), so Yi Lin and I could stay near the baby, for feeds as well as for emergencies.
Unfortunately, said accommodation had only one single bed. What can the husband do? Get a sleeping bag and sleep on the floor, loh.
A sleeping bag is no substitute for a mattress. My bones are too old for this! 
The additional 3 Day 2 Night stay at KKH was educational for us, especially Yi Lin. She got to interact with the nurses and learnt a bit more about how to breastfeed and care for the baby. We brought Colette home after we got her discharged on Day 3, confident again in our roles as parents.
Then it all went downhill again.
Incessant crying. Sleepless nights. I got so frustrated I called my parents for help after my mum told me that she and dad had taken a course in pediatrics before. My parents (bless them!) cancelled their dinner event and came to our rescue. Helped by making sure Colette was more comfortable. Turned out that we also made the mistake of thinking that muslin cloths can be used for swaddling. But it was just too thin to help the baby feel comfortable. Mum and Dad then went out to buy proper swaddling blankets, which we quickly washed, dried and used.
The couple of days that my parents were around gave me some much-needed peace of mind. But it did get to a point where we wondered if they would prefer to be doing something else rather than sitting around at my in-law’s place. Having 4 parents around to give helpful but sometimes contradictory advice, accompanied by the background wails of a yowling baby didn’t help our nerves much either.
What could a son who’s also a father do? I thanked my parents, and sent them on our way. In any case, we had to learn how to take care of our infant ourselves. It was really too tempting for me to use my parents as a crutch, and that would not have helped in the long run.
Grandparents - proud and pleased!
A few days later, the presence of greenish poop signalled the next challenge – Gas. And believe you me, this gas is no laughing matter. As far as I can understand it, burping the baby helps reduce gas, but in her immature digestive system, gas is produced too far from her mouth to be burped out, and needs to head for the nearest exit (her anus) instead. And little lady that she is, Colette really had problems letting the farts just rip out of her. I demonstrated till I turned blue in the face, but I guess I was a bad teacher…
But by then, I had already started going back to work. What’s a fretful father to do? I decided one day to go home for lunch. Drove to Simpang Bedok and got myself some food, then picked up a bottle of gripe water. Went home, and found that the wife and mother-in-law had already bought a bottle. Had a quick lunch, then drove back to the office.
On the way back to my office, the distinctive introductory tune of “Just the Two of Us” started playing on Class 95. Now, I have 2 versions of this song on my phone. The first, is a ‘proper’ song by Grover Washington Jr. The other was a ‘joke’ song by Dr Evil of Austin Powers fame. The introductory tune of these 2 versions are almost the same, but I have heard both versions often enough to realise that it sounded like Dr Evil was going to start his sing-song rap soon. On Class 95? Interesting. Curiosity piqued, I was primed to listen very closely to the lyrics as they started.
And you know what? It was a version I had never heard before, but the distinctive voice of Will Smith. The song just blew me away. Link here if you want to hear it. –> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_WamkRSDeD8&ob=av2e
As I listened to the song, listened to how he felt when driving his kid home from the hospital for the first time, listened to the worldly advice that he wanted to impart, listened to how he reassured his son that he’s “got his back”, I couldn’t help it.
I cried. I cried rest of the way back to my office. Then I parked the car and I cried some more.
I’m not a shitty-ass parent, damnit. I’m not! I just want my daughter to stop feeling so miserable. Is that too much to ask?
Posted on : October 3, 2011
Filed under : New Mums & Dads
6 Comments
Alex
October 4th, 2011 at 12:22 am
Hey Dan, you’re already a good father for feeling that you want to stop Colette from feeling miserable!
rach
October 5th, 2011 at 5:29 am
welcome to parenthood.
as idiotic as i may sound, things do get better. really. hang in there
Mandy
October 6th, 2011 at 3:13 pm
Aww Dan, I never knew you were such a SNAD! Sensitive New Age Dad. So sweet…
Anyway, I totally agree that the first 2 weeks are TOUGH. But like Rach said, it DOES get better and better!
Dannie
October 11th, 2011 at 6:15 pm
Thanks ladies. It’s a tough learning curve and no one ever wants to @$%@ up. That’s what makes it so stressful. But I keep telling myself that we are not that unique – we can get through this…
And I think we’re really doing much better now!
Sidney
November 12th, 2011 at 10:48 pm
Hi Dannie, I’ve been reading u n ur wife’s posts n was always amused by it. In some ways e journey was quite similar to mine. And I always like to pass e article to my husband for him to read n laugh along with (we also bought e tok tok tok).
My gal is 7 days older then Colette. Juz wanna share a tip, not sure if it really helps but whenever my gal wants to poo, we help e process by bending her legs up, pressing slightly against her tummy, n ‘geng’ out loud along with her. It helps her to relieve gas n poo slightly faster (n save us from another diaper in a way). Take care of ur wife!
Dannie
November 27th, 2011 at 5:14 pm
Hiya Sidney,
Thanks for dropping a note! Always nice to know that I do have readers who like my brand of nonsense. And yes!!! A male reader! You hear that, ILC? I have a male reader!
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